Feedback

"I observe myself and so i come to know others."

Lao Tse

I launched "The Grateful Mama" last Thursday and was terribly interested in hearing what people thought about it.  My family members told me it was good, but they love me so their feedback doesn't really count.  I was most interested in the opinions of readers who weren't related to me.  So I checked for comments on Friday: nothing.  Saturday: nada.  Sunday: not a word.  When I went to bed Sunday night I felt a bit discouraged.  I was still going to continue with the blog, but my enthusiasm for the project had definitely diminished.  

Then Monday morning arrived.  Beautiful Monday morning.  I received three glorious emails: one from a friend and two from women I have never met, but who heard about my blog through a friend.  Their comments were so encouraging and affirming that I actually giggled aloud as I read them.  Thank you, ladies.  You know who you are, but you have no idea how much those notes meant to me.  I apologize, by the way, for the difficulty you experienced in posting comments and subscribing to my blog.  The comments should be easy to post now, but I'm still baffled by the subscription problem.  I'll keep you posted.  (No pun intended.)

Feedback is important, yet it is often absent in our role as mothers.  We don't have a boss or supervisor to provide us with feedback.  There is no annual performance evaluation or sales report to review.  You might look to your children to see if you're doing a good job, but their behaviour can be misleading.  A happy, smiling child does not necessarily represent fabulous parenting.  Oftentimes a crying, angry toddler is indicative of a strong, thoughtful parent who has clear boundaries and follows through with consequences for bad behaviour.  So we can't really count on our kids to provide us with feedback.

Who can we turn to when we need a little encouragement from time to time?  Why not each other?  Why not compliment other mothers for a job well done?  Maybe a little, "Way to go Mama!" when your girlfriend  is sticking to her guns and carrying out a difficult consequence with her child.  Or, "Wow, what nice manners!" to a mom at your local play group when her child says "thank you."  Let's build each other up, because we're really all on the same team.  We're all trying to raise respectful, kind, responsible future members of this global community.  It's hard work, and sometimes we need a little pat on the back.