The Grateful Mama: The Right Track

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Right Track

"Even if you're on the right track,

you'll get run over if you just sit there."

Will Rogers

I read Ekhart Tolle's book, A New Earth, a couple of months ago with my book club. I got really fired up about it and even put some of Tolle's ideas into practice as I was reading. It felt fantastic, and it made me realize that I hadn't read a book about spirituality in ages. Not surprising, considering my daughters are one and three years old.

I found myself thinking back to my "pre-children" days when I had the free time to roam about bookstores with a coffee, engage in thought-provoking discussions with friends, take meditation classes, write in my journal and pursue other soul-fulfilling activities. "Free time is such a luxury now," I thought to myself, "that it's harder to focus on my spiritual growth."

RUBBISH! I say. (Even though I'm not British.) Spirituality isn't just a hobby, it's a way of life! Instead of seeing my sweet little family as an obstacle, I have to start viewing them as a vehicle. My girls can be my greatest teachers. I just need to stay on the right track, and that's what this blog is all about. I want to remind myself to be a wisdom-seeker; a beauty-hunter. If I can somehow manage to inspire other mamas along the way, well that would be a beautiful thing!

So Mamas, I'd like to officially welcome you to my blog, and I invite you to check in with me whenever you wish.

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My Teacher Hat

Consider the difference between punishment and discipline. To me, punishment involves an unrelated, often arbitrary penalty for some type of infraction. Discipline involves setting logical consequences for actions.

As a teacher, I was always encouraged to use discipline as opposed to punishment, and it worked.

Step One: SET THE PERAMETERS

It's preferable if you can set the consequences ahead of time instead of 'in the moment.' Think of the behaviours that you are working on with your child right now. One might be cleaning up toys. If you ask your child to clean up a toy and she doesn't, a logical consequence would be that the toy is removed for a period of time, (let's say one day,) and your child doesn't get to play with it.

Step Two: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD

Sit your child down and discuss 'the new rule' during a neutral time when everybody's happy. Talk about the consequence and make sure that it is understood. I also like to give kids ONE WARNING; they deserve a reminder before the consequence is imposed.

Step Three: COMMUNICATE WITH CAREGIVERS

Consistency is the KEY with discipline, so be sure to get all of your child's caregivers on board. It helps to keep the consequences really SIMPLE so that everyone can follow them. You could even talk through a possible scenario:

First ask 'small person' to clean up her blocks. If she does it right away, go over the top complimenting her for taking such good care of her things. If she doesn't do it, remind her of the consequence. "Small Person, if you don't clean up your blocks, they will be taken away and you won't get to play with them for a whole day." (Notice how I didn't say, "I will take them away"....keep it neutral.) If she still doesn't clean them up, then take them away immediately.

Step Four: BE FIRM AND CONSISTENT

Once you've set a consequence, don't back down and make exceptions...stand your ground! You've put a lot of thought into the consequence and you believe in the values you are teaching your child, so stick to it! Don't think you're doing your child any favours by backing down. Your kids will respect you more in the long run if you model strength of character.

Step Five: EVALUATE

After the consequence has been put in place for awhile, reflect upon whether or not it is working. Is the desired behaviour improving? If not, re-think your consequence. Discipline is a process, and different consequences work for different children.

Pip's Bookshelf

The Mysterious Tadpole by Steven Kellogg
If you get this book, be sure to buy the 25th Anniversary Edition (2002). It's WONDERFUL! Louis gets a birthday gift from his Scottish uncle-a tadpole. It becomes clear, after a short time, that the tadpole is no ordinary pet. The story is fun, and the illustrations have so much detail that you continue to discover new things long after the twentieth reading. This is a book that Pip keeps returning to, even after a few months of not reading it at all. Great for kids up to age 7 or 8.

The Grateful Mama

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Right Track

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Friday, April 24, 2009

The Right Track

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