The Grateful Mama: 06/03/09

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Help

"I get by with a little help from my friends."

John Lennon and Paul McCartney

I need your advice. I'm entering my blog in a 'Parents Canada' magazine contest, and I can only submit one post. Do you have a favourite 'Grateful Mama' post? I feel too close to the content to choose objectively, so I'd really appreciate your feedback. Don't put too much thought into it, just let me know if there's a post that stands out in your mind.

If you haven't figured out how to leave a comment on my blog, (or you don't wish to share your thoughts with everyone,) feel free to email me at thegratefulmama@gmail.com.

Now, I should apologize if you're disappointed with this post; I realize that it's all business and no pleasure. For your enjoyment, I'll leave you with a couple of words that Pip has recently added to her vocabulary: 'nexterday' and 'lasterday.' Apparently 'yesterday' and 'tomorrow' weren't cutting it for her. Makes sense to me.

Thank you for continuing to read my blog. I'm soooooooooooo grateful that you're out there!

I hope you enjoy nexterday's post.

My Teacher Hat

Consider the difference between punishment and discipline. To me, punishment involves an unrelated, often arbitrary penalty for some type of infraction. Discipline involves setting logical consequences for actions.

As a teacher, I was always encouraged to use discipline as opposed to punishment, and it worked.

Step One: SET THE PERAMETERS

It's preferable if you can set the consequences ahead of time instead of 'in the moment.' Think of the behaviours that you are working on with your child right now. One might be cleaning up toys. If you ask your child to clean up a toy and she doesn't, a logical consequence would be that the toy is removed for a period of time, (let's say one day,) and your child doesn't get to play with it.

Step Two: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD

Sit your child down and discuss 'the new rule' during a neutral time when everybody's happy. Talk about the consequence and make sure that it is understood. I also like to give kids ONE WARNING; they deserve a reminder before the consequence is imposed.

Step Three: COMMUNICATE WITH CAREGIVERS

Consistency is the KEY with discipline, so be sure to get all of your child's caregivers on board. It helps to keep the consequences really SIMPLE so that everyone can follow them. You could even talk through a possible scenario:

First ask 'small person' to clean up her blocks. If she does it right away, go over the top complimenting her for taking such good care of her things. If she doesn't do it, remind her of the consequence. "Small Person, if you don't clean up your blocks, they will be taken away and you won't get to play with them for a whole day." (Notice how I didn't say, "I will take them away"....keep it neutral.) If she still doesn't clean them up, then take them away immediately.

Step Four: BE FIRM AND CONSISTENT

Once you've set a consequence, don't back down and make exceptions...stand your ground! You've put a lot of thought into the consequence and you believe in the values you are teaching your child, so stick to it! Don't think you're doing your child any favours by backing down. Your kids will respect you more in the long run if you model strength of character.

Step Five: EVALUATE

After the consequence has been put in place for awhile, reflect upon whether or not it is working. Is the desired behaviour improving? If not, re-think your consequence. Discipline is a process, and different consequences work for different children.

Pip's Bookshelf

The Mysterious Tadpole by Steven Kellogg
If you get this book, be sure to buy the 25th Anniversary Edition (2002). It's WONDERFUL! Louis gets a birthday gift from his Scottish uncle-a tadpole. It becomes clear, after a short time, that the tadpole is no ordinary pet. The story is fun, and the illustrations have so much detail that you continue to discover new things long after the twentieth reading. This is a book that Pip keeps returning to, even after a few months of not reading it at all. Great for kids up to age 7 or 8.

The Grateful Mama

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

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The Grateful Mama

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Help

Grateful Mama Widget

The NEW and IMPROVED Grateful Mama Site!!!

Mama Mantra

My Teacher Hat

Board Book of the Week

Pip's Bookshelf

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Blog Archive