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Discovering wisdom and beauty in the nose-wiping, grape-slicing, tummy-tickling, bottom-washing, breast-feeding, cheek-smooching reality of motherhood.
Grateful Mama Widget
The NEW and IMPROVED Grateful Mama Site!!!
Mama Mantra
"I am a goddess."
Because you are. And people don't tell you often enough. Trust me.
My Teacher Hat
Consider the difference between punishment and discipline. To me, punishment involves an unrelated, often arbitrary penalty for some type of infraction. Discipline involves setting logical consequences for actions.
As a teacher, I was always encouraged to use discipline as opposed to punishment, and it worked.
Step One: SET THE PERAMETERS
It's preferable if you can set the consequences ahead of time instead of 'in the moment.' Think of the behaviours that you are working on with your child right now. One might be cleaning up toys. If you ask your child to clean up a toy and she doesn't, a logical consequence would be that the toy is removed for a period of time, (let's say one day,) and your child doesn't get to play with it.
Step Two: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD
Sit your child down and discuss 'the new rule' during a neutral time when everybody's happy. Talk about the consequence and make sure that it is understood. I also like to give kids ONE WARNING; they deserve a reminder before the consequence is imposed.
Step Three: COMMUNICATE WITH CAREGIVERS
Consistency is the KEY with discipline, so be sure to get all of your child's caregivers on board. It helps to keep the consequences really SIMPLE so that everyone can follow them. You could even talk through a possible scenario:
First ask 'small person' to clean up her blocks. If she does it right away, go over the top complimenting her for taking such good care of her things. If she doesn't do it, remind her of the consequence. "Small Person, if you don't clean up your blocks, they will be taken away and you won't get to play with them for a whole day." (Notice how I didn't say, "I will take them away"....keep it neutral.) If she still doesn't clean them up, then take them away immediately.
Step Four: BE FIRM AND CONSISTENT
Once you've set a consequence, don't back down and make exceptions...stand your ground! You've put a lot of thought into the consequence and you believe in the values you are teaching your child, so stick to it! Don't think you're doing your child any favours by backing down. Your kids will respect you more in the long run if you model strength of character.
Step Five: EVALUATE
After the consequence has been put in place for awhile, reflect upon whether or not it is working. Is the desired behaviour improving? If not, re-think your consequence. Discipline is a process, and different consequences work for different children.
Board Book of the Week
123, Maisy byLucy Cousins
This is a visually appealing counting book for kids. The pages foldout and are a bit complicated for young babies, but kids over a year old can handle it. I'm not sure if it's technically considered a board book because the pages are made out of heavy card instead of board, but our girls both love them.
Pip's Bookshelf
The Mysterious Tadpole by Steven Kellogg
If you get this book, be sure to buy the 25th Anniversary Edition (2002). It's WONDERFUL! Louis gets a birthday gift from his Scottish uncle-a tadpole. It becomes clear, after a short time, that the tadpole is no ordinary pet. The story is fun, and the illustrations have so much detail that you continue to discover new things long after the twentieth reading. This is a book that Pip keeps returning to, even after a few months of not reading it at all. Great for kids up to age 7 or 8.
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